King Black Dragon
The King Black Dragon, otherwise known as KBD or GWARGH I HAS 3 HEADS AND I IS GONNA PWN YOU NOOBS is a big filthy dragon that spends its entire time walking around a square chamber slap bang in the centre of the Wilderness near the Lava Maze. He is famous for dropping Draconic Visage, an item which, once the 1/~1000 drop rate kicks in, causes a random bunch of level 80s to simultaneously scream OMFG I'M RICH!!!!1111 until they accidently DDoS the server from repeatedly spamming, however they are still logged in, KBD respawns and mashes them all into Nooby Paste and sells it to the Grand Exchange for 50,000 gp a kilo, which players then buy to use as fertiliser. The KBD has the defence of a diamond wall, the size of a three-headed, winged, fire breathing bad tempered lorry and the sense of humour only rivaled by a cardboard box, which is proven because he doesn't fall on his arse laughing when the latest level 82 with Void, Magic Shortbow and Lobsters for food thinks he can solo the GWARGH I HAS 3 HEADS AND I IS GONNA PWN YOU NOOBs, and instead ruins the voidy. At least the next soloer who shows up will repair his grave. Fighting the King Black Dragon Unless you fancy being done medium rare, you will probably want to equip an anti-dragon shield. Its sort of recommended, optional, because the KBD only hits up to, you know, 650 damage without one. USEFUL INFORMATION (ZOMG!): Mage Praying and using an antifire potion makes the KBD always hit 0 with fire, and up to 150 with other 3! And this way you can use that borrowed Bandos Godsword that you'll never hit with because you're 75 attack and 73 strength! The easiest way to beat the KBD is chicken. Roasted noob never tastes nice, and because the KBD fails at killing anyone of over 100 combat, he never tastes succelent, fat basement kid meat. So give him some chicken. Go right up to him, without dragonfire protection, all your cash and all of your most expensive items (so it looks like you're making him an offering, but the lack of armour makes you seem not a threat) and give him some chicken. Oh, what do you mean you died and lost almost all of your bank? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! Fagex fucked it Although looking like a black turd that somebody fat trod in, the KBD still slightly resembled a dragon . However, this has changed. When Jagex updated all the dragon's in Prunescape, they forgot the KBD and it still looked old, even with the release of the BIGGEST FUCKING DRAGON EVER . This pissed off noobs , future update lurkers and the scum known as Jagex Apologists more than an italian doing a shit on George Bush's face. So eventually, Jagex got really annoyed at the fourms and planned an update for the dragon. In the week before the update, many high level clans were created to "pwn the kbd before fagex fucks it". These clans were great in number and got so much loot that they DDoS'ed the server back to fucking prehistorhic times and pissed off everyone doing the fight caves. On the day of the update, the shit really hit the fan. The first thing that was noticed was that, instead of it having the black turd look, it looked like a fucking cartoon dinosaur with a big spear up its arse. Also, because of all the screams of, "ZOMFG AWESOM JAGEX UPD@TE!!!!1111" from the Jagex Apologists, and the dramatic increase of pixels, everytime the dragon spawned everyone got DDoS'ed. At the same time, everyone who actually wanted to make profit could not because there was more leeches there than all the farms in America. There was also a release of some new gloves, boots and a new lore but NO ONE GIVES A SHIT! Trivia and other shit *The KBD was first meant to be the father of the Giant Mole and called "The Giant Shit". Jagex could not do this however, because Disney Studios already had a product in the making with that name and a shitload of lawyers. Strangely enough, Disney eventually scrapped the name and called the movie, Toy Story. *For some gay reason, the lair is covered in shitty coin drops and an uncut sapphire. A recent poll says that these drops are 72% more shitty than those of a goblin's in Noob City . *The KBD used to be the "most powerful thing in prunescape" , until it was pwned by the Kalphite Queen , the Corporeal Beast , the OHMYFUCKINGGODIGOTONEHITTEDBYTHISPIECEOFOBSIDIANSHIT, the purple rabbit of death and the BIGGEST FUCKING DRAGON EVER. Now it just sits in the corner and cries until some noob comes along with full void and an adamant longsword saying, "IMAFCKNPWNU!!!1111" It is still unclear on what language this is. *Believe it or not, this Dragon is actually shit. Category:Monsters Category:Dangerous